My first mother's day without my mom

I was going to say It's my first mother's day without my mom...but the truth is even though she's physically not here I feel she's with me more than ever.

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I feel her when I'm in the kitchen cooking and a dish is about to go wrong and suddenly it makes a turn and comes out tasting amazing. (I swear it was her who saved it from being a disaster)

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I see her when I look in the mirror. (I can't look into my eyes without seeing hers)

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I feel her hands as I'm combing through my kids thick hair... Helping me detangle gently so they don't cry. (She would never want them to be sad, I'm sure she would have promised them we would go to the store for a toy afterwards).

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I hear her voice pushing me to keep going when I'm running 1 mile at 5 am. (when I want to quit she's telling me you're doing great...keep going!)

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When I'm watching tv, it's as if she's right there watching it with me. ( no need to call each other during commercial breaks to talk about what happened...or asking have I caught up on Netflix episodes yet...because we're watching it together)

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And as I started rearranging the kid's rooms I can imagine her saying let's go to home goods for room decor, check out Nordstrom while we're out and then have a late lunch at a near by restaurant.

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Shes within me and for that reason I know today as I celebrate mothers day with my kids she's right there with us...maybe not physically but she's there💕

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Happy Mothers Day to all you mamas out there❤️